just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
