he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
