Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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