Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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