Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
