I wish my penis had an off switch
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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