i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
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Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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