I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
