You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
