the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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