Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.