respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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