I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize