idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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