just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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