I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
