i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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