Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize