My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
