Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize