dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
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My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
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Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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