O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
