I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
