ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
