He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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