i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
