we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
