Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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