i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
