Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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