its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
