In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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