PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
