Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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