God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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