My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
