did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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