Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
