The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
