You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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