You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
