so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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