Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
