you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
