The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
