They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
