Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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