last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
