So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fuck appropriateness.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
