How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
