Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
