kristin has been a bad kristin
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
there is another microwave in the elevator.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
