I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
