she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
