I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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