Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's the barista slut.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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