I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
