hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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