Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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