Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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